One day I dreamt that I exploded into iridescent powder and my particles danced joyfully in the air, on their way to encounter all the people who has ever crossed my existence.
I left Brazil exactly 1 year ago. Or rather 1 year ago Brazil left me. I remember when I was in my early 20s I used to daydream what would I be doing once I’m there, on the corner of a remote place around the planet. All those places people are usually afraid of. Places travel agencies arrange safe schedules and snacks for groups of smiley selfie sticks. Places I can choose to be whatever I want, because my sense of self is no longer relevant.
My plan of action, that started with going to Berlin and coming back to Brazil in 3 months, became something like the one taken by a dandelion flower when freed from it’s roots. It all turned into a spontaneous globetrotting treasure hunt.
Yesterday I spent an enormous amount of time squeezing my iPhotos like a lemon, swallowing the juices of feelings and memories.
Having lived in so many places I consider myself less of a traveler and more of a immerser. Because I melt, I merge and I surrender myself to become another being wherever I go. Sometimes I get tired of new Biancas. Very often I get tired of the road. Too many hostels, too many jobs, too many dreams, too many Tinder dates, too many diarrheas. But it took me a while to realize: I’ve made my dream come true. Just like that, bam. I could've hang that coat in the closet now, but I don’t have a closet anymore.
Getting to know the world is my master plan of self realization. I’m about to solve tiny little parts of gigantic problems that have been shadowing my existence, just by guiding myself into the unknown.
My next destination is coming. Its exactly the place I longed to be, and by chance I spotted a friend in a crowd of wandering souls, the key of the portal who could open the gates to this adventure. The old Bianca is bleeding, defeated already, turning into ashes, as usual. Another one is about to be born and I can't wait to get to know this woman.
I’m an admirer of the human nature. I’m the best kind of troublemaker. I’m charmed by the world and I won’t stop now.
En Erebos Phos.