I am a changed man now, yes changing from a boy to a man and then to a different man takes a lot, it takes almost everything you once desired or dreamt of.
I have been changed by the amalgamated action of many repetitive tasks, wrongs done by many right people with excuses and reasons that to me are unacceptable. It may be a case that the fault been on my part but at the end i was the one to sleep on a bed full of thorns and i was the sole one to experience the agony of sharpness slitting the skin from numerous different points.
I have been pointed blanked before the gun soo close that i could examine the little rust on the barrel by the perennial shot of bullet.
Life has been a hoolahoop since very long and it never falls short surprising me with anything horrendous.
The irony made me cry a several thousand times and trust me, i know how it feels exactly to cry in the shower so no one can hear, waiting for everyone to be asleep so that i can fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad i just want it hard to all to end. I know exactly how it feels, because what cannot be said is wept.
We all are nothing but survivors of our own wars, inching daily to the fort from the shore, looking out of the barrs in search of light (hope), but do we succeed?
We donot; we adjust.
Because life's a swamp and when we get into it we do not flight to get free, we adjust to stay still, to avoid being consumed.
Monsoon... I was here 3 years ago for 2 weeks only but even that time I could feel how different it is from season time. How quiet and peaceful it is. How emerald the greenery is. How fast the clothes get wet and how fast is everything covered with fungus. How much rain you see every day and you should be ready to get caught in the rain any second.
Now it's been my 5th month in India. It was interesting to see how the nature changes, the red dry fields become green. How people start working in the fields planting rice. Less and fewer people and more and more rains. It's a time for nature and yourself. It's more like a state of mind now, you slow down and vanish in this weather. It's time to meet your real self - your thoughts, your fears, your insights. And to find the right way.
Мунсун.. Я помню свои ощущения, когда провела две недели. Какое все измурудное, красивое. Какая сырость и влажность. Как быстро сыреют вещи и покрываются плесенью. Как мало людей на улицах и закрыты все магазины. И всегда надо быть готовым попасть под дождь - в любую минуту, даже если небо ясное. Сейчас я тут уже пятый месяц, вижу как меняется природа. Красные поля становятся зелеными, люди распахивают их и сажают рис. Меняется настроение -все замедляется вокруг, и ты остаешься наедине с собой -своими мыслями, страхами, озарениями, радостями. И тут главное- найти правильный путь..